Hi ya peeps,
Don’t know how you parents out there feel about this, but since my son has turned 14, it’s like he has amnesia about what chores are, because he is doing diddly squat in the house other than to eat, watch tv, study and look in the mirror. Sometimes, I just want to “attack that mirror” but I too can be vain at times, and having no mirror would be like going without a wash.
I remember a time, not long ago when he was clean and tidy and his bedroom was like Barbie and Ken’s – everything in its rightful place. At that time mummy dearest, moi, was a happy yet vain bunny, bragging to friends that “oh my kids keep the place tidy, oh my kids cook and do the washing up, oh my kids…..” Bla, Bla, Bla. I am sure many of my friends wanted to head butt me and pull out my teeth “Show-off” they would mutter. Yet now I been forced into silence, because I feel ashamed. My eldest son especially doesn’tt even want to cook “toast” and you know you “can’t cook toast.” Like Paul Young once sang “wherever I lay my hat, that’s my home.” Well peeps, wherever this child takes off his shirt, his coat even his underpants, with skid marks and all, that’s where he leaves them, and so do I. Never mind the smell, I’ve bought myself air freshner that neutralises smells, and I leave his underpants in the same spot until he realises I am not called “Mother Maid” and that I will not be doing his chores for him.
He gets in from school and I have to be behind him, like “Grandma Gertrude The Miserable” ranting at him to put things where they should be, pick things up, close doors, shut the fridge, wash the plate. When he gets out of the bath, it’s as if a tidal wave has hit the place and all I can do is to inhale, close my eyes and walk away before I am tempted to do something I might regret.
In my day, I could never escape from doing my chores and to leave dirty underpants in any other place other than the laundry basket was asking for some serious trouble. Therefore, I knew that if I had done any of the above, my backside would be nursing Mr Dettol and Vaseline for the next week and bedtime reading would be the book of Revelations or the Book of Job, whichever one would depress me first.
No, I had chores to do back then and my parents would never give me the chance to say “mumeee, daddeed I will pick it up later.” There was no “later” in my parents vocabularly, it was “Now or Never.”
So now like I said, rather than do the rant and rave thing I just smile, grit my teeth and do the vengeful thing by going on the rampage when he is asleep or at school. I have even taken out his ear-ring as he sleeps, just to prove that he needs to do as I say when I ask him. I have even treid confiscating his mobile phone, because as you know, for most teenagers, that is like disengaging their blood supply. The mobile phone is more of a family extension, and sometimes more respected than their own sibling. So yes, I have found ways of getting my own back as I do not propose to spend my every waking minute doing household chores whilst himself sits around in front of the television or computer half comatosed for the best part of the day. I have even at times, refused to cook. Yes, I have been nicknamed “Mummy Psycho” but that’s ok, I’m cool about that because I am determined to make a statement whilst in the process saving my sanity.
Yes, I have decided to leave the hollering and ranting alone, as my poor heart needs to rest, and have decided to do things on the sly. So next time my son finds something missing like his controllers for his x-box or his television refuses to turn on because I have disengaged the amps from their rightful place, he will find “Mummy Psycho” sitting calmly in the kitchen with a cup of Horlicks. Hopefully he will learn that I have a point to make.
Until next time
