I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.” Chico Marx , http://en.thinkexist.com/quotations/kissing
It's time for women to explore who they really are and to embrace who they are. As women, we all get caught up in the daily humdrum of work, chores, family that we very rarely find the time to look after ourselves, nevermind take the time out to explore who we really are. And not just who we are in terms of being a mother, a partner, an employee but who we are in terms of our needs, our desires, our dreams as women. Yet in terms of all the other emotions that we go through, such as pain, love, desire, resentment, grief, sadness, there is also, would you believe it, pleasure, sensuality etc.
Today I have chosen the subject of Sensuality. I believe many of us do not touch on this subject because it is still very much taboo and for various reasons from our beliefs and value systems, to our relationships, our environments, our experiences etc. But in the right context and with the right person, being sensuous can be the most beautiful thing when added to that love you already have with your partner. Therefore, I have identified three species of women, as follows:
Category One – Madam Dry Bread
“Jaysus” I can hear some of you holler, as soon as I mentioned the word “Sensuous” eyes all glazed and pretending that you don’t want anything to do with the more carnal side of your boring and dry nature. This category of persons have been looking for a man for more than 10 years, have grown a moustache, toe-nails need clipping because they are mashing up the lino and ripping up the carpet and the only attractive thing about them is their handbag. The last time this category of women saw their feet, without standing vertically was when the titanic sunk.
Auntie Esther’s Remedy
Well, a woman cannot expect a man to feel all pleasureable about herself when she does not feel or look the part. Sorry ladies, but that’s the way it is. Ladies, the first thing for you to do is to get rid of that weave, because it aint right, it don’t look right and it ain’t hygenic. Don’t get anyone to do your hair for you for a fiver. Get it done “propa.” Another alternative is to pay a visit to your Barber and chop everything off.
Too many women are walking about looking as if they've got lost in the desert and some hooved animal did a hairdressing job for them. No ladies, you must represent. Then once you tidy yourself up and leave the dumplings, bread and other stodgy food alone and begin to wear a smile, men will be after your carcasess before you can say “I’m available.” It 's at that point then that you can sit down to talk about pleasure.
Category Two – MADAM SHUT EYE
For others of you, who are about to pick yourselves up off the floor, well done, you’ve now realised that you did not have your children by “immaculate conception” and that indeed there was a process that you had to undertake in order to produce your offspring and those three little letters are _ _ _. Dare I spell it out for fear of reprisals, death threats from members of the community who think anything to do with - - - is sinful and would want to burn me at the stake.
Look ladies, you too have issues. I realise that for many of you it was purely a functional exercise or duty. So, marching off to bed before The Queens Speech on Christmas day, when you got physical, is to be applauded. So, you’d lie in bed, all sexy with your extra tummies and thighs all over the place, lights out because you don’t like what you’ve got coming to you. He’s worst, he’s got a no-pack, whale handles and his backside is hanging off the bed like an extra quilt cover. Your mind goes off into another zone (me personally, I’d have put senakot or a handful of laxitives in his hot chocolate and call the ambulance – can’t have something like that huffing and puffing all over me). Then there he'd be sweating all over you like he’s actually moving, he's only exerting himself from just looking at you. You then rest your good arm on the back of his neck trying to be all cuddly and that, he says two more seconds, you nod, he rolls over, you get up and it’s all over in a second.
Auntie Esther’s Remedy
Sorry, peeps, whilst I throw up. Believe me I need to leave this one alone, I just can’t go there, because if I did I’d be arrested for inciting violence and police would catch me and put me away until Hell froze over. You both need therapy – I know of a good Vet or maybe a surgeon.
Category Three – Viagra Wo..man
For the more loose of you, the ones who are wordly and who have hedonistic tendancies (way ta go ladies) this subject would be right up your street as you are in a place where you are confident and comfortable with who you are, with your body (no matter what shape or size or length or state it’s in), with your relationships and you see being sensuous as an integral and healthy part of your life. Viagra has nothing on you.
Auntie Esther’s Remedy
Keep it up ladies. Feeling sensuous about yourself is not just a - - - thing it is about tapping into your deepest level of self-awareness and letting it ride free, within the right context of course. So Ladies, you re the ones walking around with a big smile on your face and your 4-pack is coming along very well. Your skin is glowing and you are as fit as any fiddle can be. You can swing those hips of yours and smile up in any man’s face, cause you know he ain’t touching you. You can tempt him all you like, cause you know he ain’t touching you. The most important thing is that you are in control, the most wonderful thing is that you do not necessarily need a man around you to feel sensuous, it’s about arriving, it’s about self-empowerment, it’s about loving yourself. It’s about You.
On that note peeps, I love and leave you until next time and if you get time check out the folowing website: www.rundu.com
