"Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare" - Ed Asner
"A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be" - Unknown
"Children are the most expensive form of entertainment" - Mihaela Iosof
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." - Franklin P. Jones
"Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed" - Robert Gallagher
"Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?" - Emo Philips
"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."- Phyllis Diller
"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children."- Phyllis Diller
"Small children almost never misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said" - Etienne Marchal
"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn the operation of the DVD, yet are unable to understand the vacuum cleaner." - Etienne Marchal
