As many of you may realise, I have two huge teenage boys 14 and 18, both hitting the 6ft mark. Yes the eldest one has safely reached manhood, or so he thinks. I am always tempted to shift the bar and remind him he is only a man when, and IF he reaches 21 and then I may well shift those dynamics again to 35. Well ladies, when does a man really become a man? In my experience they can remain lazy, insecure, fearful, egotistical ba….. until their bodies are flung into the cold, dank earth forever more. But them upstairs are telling me to stop being so cynical and negative and to leave the poor disillusioned mites alone as they are not all so….damaged? ok, ok, I will stop my torrid relent upon the male species. Something psychological? hmm I may need to deal with myself, you thinks?
So back to my boys. My 18 year old is a stunning child, I must say, in fact they both are, but the 18 year old has been classified as a “sweet boy” in terms of his looks and the younger one “a man.” He’s got hair growing from all sorts of crevices and when he speaks, you have to hope you are not blown away into the stratosphere. He also quite clearly speaks his mind and is a tenacious, leader of a young man, if I say so myself. You will identify with this if you happen to meet them. The elder boy is of a more gentle character, a good boy hugely talented as well but bone, idle, mind blowingly, mind bogglingly, stupendously lazy. (I hope you catch my drift here). There have been times when this has almost driven me to distraction with tendencies towards the more psychopathic side, should I be so bold as to admit to this. I am sure you are also querying what sort of tendencies creep upon my good self, tendencies, which are very simple to implement within one quick thrust and which, dear mothers and fathers, you may like to take note of, just in case:
This is called the Simply Do It Now Method - thrust the dirty plates and other vessels into his room, onto his bed and then securely stuff them into his pillow. Bon Nuit.
Second. The Binning Technique – the binning thing works wonders and there are no instructions required to use this wonderful mode other than – one reaches ones hand out and picks up the offending items – whether that be plates and cutlery that have not been washed for a week or dirty clothing. One then walks calmly over to the bin whilst humming something from Mozart’s or Bach’s repertoire. If you are fortunate to have a pedal bin, you gently move your right foot forward, heel on ground, toe touching the pedal, which should then flip nicely up into the best position you have seen in a long time. Then you allow your hands to soothingly open up, releasing the offending items, promptly and securely into the bin.
If you do not have a pedal bin, it may be a little more difficult to manoeuvre things, but anything is possible, remember HOPE is a wonderful thing to always be mindful of. So once again you approach the bin with the most wonderful of intention that you are doing something for the plant, if this mindset makes you feel good. Call it being mindful of the environment, part of Green Peace and all that. But you hesitate slightly as you have to balance the dirty paraphernalia whilst thinking how to lift the lid off the bin. Well here is the trick. Simply rest the dirty things on the floor, ground, in the pit (they are dirty anyway are they not?) and then select something which you are going to bin anyway to lift the bin cover, then bend down, remembering the correct way to bend, pick up stuff, grasp the offending items in your hands, rise slowly and with great deliberation and a smile of satisfaction release - et voila
No need to scream, shout, stress, dribble, roll your eyes. This way is a bit like have a Hamlet moment. Absolute bliss. Bit like meditating actually.
