Hello once again peeps, from Auntie Gertrude. I hope you all are still enjoying the wonderful crazy weather we have been having of late. One minute you feel as if you are sunning it in the Bahamas, the next on the fringes of the Antarctic. But at the moment, I don’t feel the need the visit a tropical island to gain a healthy tan as I have acquired quite a nice one over here and other than the lack of palm trees, cool breezes, lovely clean sandy beaches and clear blue clean seas, culture, excitement, music belching out from mini vans, vendors on street corners selling coconut water
there is absolutely nothing else that I am ……….missing!!!
Well you would never guess what I did on Friday evening. For the past four years I have been saying I wanted to parteeeeeee. Now, I have never been a party animal, and can count on one hand the amount of times I have frequented a nightclub or even a party. Don’t get me wrong, I love music, as anyone who knows me will tell you. I love music so much so that even when an advert comes on I’m off jiving
But the need to shake a leg and have a good time out on the town had been causing me to fret often and carry on like a banshee who had lost her shadow. Every Friday and Saturday for the past 4 years, you’d find me in front of my stereo, tearing up my carpet, jiving to Heart FM/Capital radio and even Kiss 100 as they went “back-in-da-day” and as time is now progressively racing towards another milestone in my life…..a year older, not much wiser and on the physical side, getting slower and rounder, I thought to myself, my next milestone is 45 and if I haven’t hit a nightclub by then I never will.
So last Friday, myself and my “possy” headed to Essex (yes, yes I know, hush – Blonde, East Enders, cuppa tea, bangers and mash – Essex). Now I can instantly see your brows furrowing thinking, what kinda club did she frequent up there? Surely the only type of music one would get in any club up “those ends” would be George Michael, Abba and a little bit of soul by The Back Street Boys. Well peeps you are almost right, because by tune number three we were giving the person who suggested this club seriously raised eyebrows and the “you’re a dead man” sign.
At one point a member of our “possy” mouthed to me “how does one dance to this type of music?” I shrugged as gracefully as I could, whilst trying to understand where the rhythm and beat had gone to, as some other 80’s pop noise assaulted us. “Just jump and move out of sync and you’ll be fine” I mouthed back. So we started jumping and doing a range of crazy moves and I am sure we looked quite at home from then on. By now we were all dying for some serious Soul music to hit the decks, maybe a bit of r and b or even a touch of “Janet Kay”!!!! Anyway, I made sure I was securely obscured from anyone’s view behind a pillar, just in-case the paparazzi decided to frequent the club that night. I didn't want to tempt fate by finding myself on the front page of the Tabloids the next day as it would so cheapen my credibility - that sort of thing is best left to Big Brother contestants and the likes of Paris Hilton. - all part of the sleaze "possy." They might have money in their pockets, but they just ain't got no talent.
Anyways, being the “Rhythm possy” we were really struggling now. We'd been distracted by the “others” who were doing their best to do the rhythm thing, but failing miserably, moving to the music as if they had piles. It was hard “dough” because “we ain’t used to doing the jumping thing as a dance form, and our sense of balance and sense of rhythm were in serious danger of becoming extinct” but sadly, there was just no other way to dance to “Wham” or the "Scissors Sisters". But being the type of people we were, full of fun, good humoured and willing to make the best out of a well…....interesting situation we just decided to get on with the job at hand and just “enjoy” the moment.
Now had anyone else like family and friends or people who knew us even remotely been a spy on the wall and noticed our crazy antics, we’d be front page on the Voice, New Nation or even in Pride magazine with a caption like “West Indians loose the plot and their rhythm. Soon to be put into exile for shaming a nation and their race Lost touch with their identity and rhythm – soon to be deported back to home country - Poleland.”
Yet ¾ of the way through the evening, we were saved by the DJ finally coming around to seeing sense and playing some soulful tunes and it was like, Christmas come early. By now my knees were screaming out with pain. Too much jumping, star, and not enough dancing. We were ecstatic I tell you, absolutely delighted and even though the DJ mentioned that we had 15 minutes left before the night ended, it was Soul peeps, it was Soul and that was enough to relieve our spirits. And so the big man of soul himself smooched over the decks “Mr Luther Van Dross" himself. Then came another round of more soul. We boogied like we had never boogied before. I could not scream or shout any louder and my poor knees took quite a beating with all that “wukking” up whining on the ground, but all in all we had a good time and did we laugh. It was great.
So all in all I had a brilliant time. It's at times like this that you realise that it’s not always where you go but the company you keep. I have bought myself a nice big container of Cod Liver oil, just to help keep my joints supple, because seriously, I had to go home and soak my legs, but I will also be heading out again in a few weeks time.
I plan to make this a regular feature in my life now. It’s come back time for me and I am hitting the dance floor major so - Jo Lo look out. Time to enjoy life a little more. Off to Salsa classes this week and I've even got a drum kit in my bedroom. Did a belly dancing class a few weeks ago as well. Felt a little "de-ribbed" and "disorientated" by the end of the session, but did I feel all hot and bothered in a very nice and sensuous way. Yep, yep, yep
So next week, who knows…Pole dancing? (Got to swap my legs for that gig, because there is some serious exercises and climbing going on there) but if you don't try you just never know.
Take a risk and do something different peeps. Life is such a short journey and many of us are not even enjoying it on a basic level. The world is your oyster. Byeeeeee
All the best
