A few quotes to put a smile to your face:
"Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"
---Mae West
"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'" - Paula Poundstone
"I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year." Bette Davis
"When a man gives his opinion he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion she's a bitch." -- Bette Davis
"I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. " -- Zsa Zsa Gabor
"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."
Ellen DeGeners.
"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself."
Roseanne Barr.
"Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement."
Mark Twain
